Super Powers, Compliments of Three Children (A Mother’s Day Reflection)

  • Bloatational Force – The stomach’s ability appear 6 months pregnant after one burrito.
  • Cognitive Narcolepsy – The ability to fall asleep whist eyes are open and mouth produces the reassuring words like “well done” and “that’s wonderful” at frequent intervals.
  • Hyperhighstrungness –  The body’s ability to never relax and always be prepared for danger even in the most comfortable of situations.   For example, to make the exact same lunchbox for 5 years and still find the process extraordinarily stressful.
  • Productivity Tunneling – The ability to plot and execute a plan for world domination during a 5 minute episode of Peppa Pig.
  • Needle-In-A-Haystack Vision – The ability to find impossibly small things like Barbie shoes or Lego heads illogically scattered about an entire house.
  • Empty Caloric Maximization – The ability to survive only on the removed crusts of sandwiches.  And the occasional left over pasta noodle.
  • Bilateral Brain-Mouth Connectivity – The ability to sings nursery rhymes to a toddler and read a magazine at the same time.
  • Extreme Caffeine Metabolization – The ability to drink endless coffee and tea throughout the day and still fall asleep the very second the body hits the sofa to relax and watch TV after a long day.

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