A Million Bucks

If I had a million dollars, I would spend it on world peace.  Obviously, I would totally spend it on world peace.  

Well….  actually, if world peace only cost a million dollars, someone would have bought it by now.  J.K. Rowling for sure…. or even 50 Cent for that matter.  Yeah, if world peace was something you could buy, I’m sure it would be sold out by now.

 

So,…if I had a million dollars, I would totally donate it to organizations that pursue world peace.  The UN, Save the Children, Bono’s thing…. All good choices.  

 

So, I would donate all $998,000 of it to charity.  It would be silly not to keep a little bit for myself.  A check for $998,000 would totally blow them away.

 

That said, I’m sure a check for $980,000 would also blow them away.  What’s a little $18,000 for a nip and tuck for a woman that had three kids, right?!?  Surely if I had a million dollars, I must have done something amazing to earn it.  Taking a little for myself as a small reward isn’t the worst thing in the world.

 

Ok, so $970,000 to a charity that works to save the world.  Oh, wait…. I forgot about the FrankinVein that popped out on my right leg recently.  That definitely will need removing.  If I’m going under for the “tuck” I might as well get that done as well.  For that matter, I should get “the girls” lifted too.  

 

That is now $960,000 to a charity for world peace things.  Pretty good, I would say.  But, actually, I don’t own a house, and it would be a bit silly to just give away my future.  Interest rates are historically low right now, and I would be just plain stupid if I didn’t take advantage of it.  

 

$500,000 – A HALF a million dollars to charity.  I really am being awfully generous.  I do need a car though.  Three kids and all their stuff, after all!!  A nice big 7 or 8 seater is absolutely vital.  Wow, I completely forgot about the car.  Yeah, I’m going to need $45,000 of that for the car.  Oh and the new Le Creuset pan set.  So, $46,000 really.

 

$454,000 to the U.N.  That’s still an amazing donation.  Wait… that doesn’t account for college tuition for the kids.  If I figure $100,000 each, that still leaves a good amount left.

 

$154,000 to help save the world.  Pretty good, I would say.  $100,000 to help save the world.  $54,000, actually.  Each of the kids will need cars eventually too.

 

$50,000 for peace!  I’m really still being quite generous.  Minus the $4,000 I subtracted for botox.  $4,000 isn’t much money and the years have not been kind to me.

 

$40,000 to charity!  Oh… but my teeth.  I have always wanted to get implants….  Wouldn’t the best time to do that be when you were suddenly rolling in one million dollars?!?!  Yes, the teeth will get done.

 

$30,000 for the starving African children.  That’s easily a year of food for the hungry Kenyan kids.  Oh….. but Kenya is where I have always wanted to go on a safari….  Hummmm…

 

$15,000 in cash, directly to peace loving NGOs.  Still a pretty decent donation.  

 

$1,000 in cash.  I forgot about the outstanding credit card bill.

 

$100 in cash.  And the student loan payment for the month.  

 

Oh and the kids’ school trip we still owe on.

 

$20.00!  $20 via Paypal it is!